The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.
The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.
A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It’s a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, “I’m so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.”
“I can do What-eva I want, I’m a blonde.” Well I’ll get the pilot.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says,” What did you say?”
The pilot simply says,” I told her 1st class wasn’t going to Miami, just coach was!!!”
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< color="#c8ddf5" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow stepped on her.
What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes!
What is it when a blonde blows into anotherblondes ear?
Data transfer.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“I wonder if it’s mine?”
How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her a package of M&M’s and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
Because she read that one child out of every four born, was Chinese.
Why did the blonde lose her job as an elevator operator?
She couldn’t learn the route.
Why did the blonde drive around the block fifty-seven times?
Her turn signal was stuck.
Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
Why are the Japanese so smart?
No blondes.
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ARTERY–The study of fine paintings. BARIUM–What you do when CPR fails. BENIGN–What yoiu are after you be
8. CAESAREAN SECTION–A district in Rome. COLIC–A sheep dog. COMA–A punctuation mark. CONGENITAL–Friendly. DILATE–To live longer. FESTER–Quicker. G.I. SERIES–Baseball game between teams of soldiers. GRIPPE–A suitcase. HANGNAIL–A coat hook. MEDICAL STAFF–A Doctor’s cane. MINOR OPERATION–Coal digging. MORBID–A higher offer. NODE–Was aware of. ORGANIC–Church musician. OUTPATIENT–A person who has fainted. POST-OPERATIVE–A letter carrier. PROTEIN–In favor of young people. SECRETION–Hiding anything. SEROLOGY–Study of English knighthood. TABLET–A small table. TUMOR–An extra pair. URINE–Opposite of you’re out. VARICOSE VEINS–Veins which are very close together.
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Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said “Look at that dog with one eye!”
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, “Why?”
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Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the “blonde” employee: “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are at… VERY SLOWLY?”
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said…
“Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing”
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