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Blonde Jokes


The jokes about blondes have been made by the blondes themselves. This is because they want to confuse their enemies. The plan is to make people laugh so bad, that they might die from it. So far, the plan hasn’t been succesful, as we all can see. People laugh much about it. Let’s just face it: the jokes about blond bimbos are not funny enough. The blondes have now started to work on a new plan. Their secret headquarters is stationed right under the South Pole. Actually, they had planned to place it on the North Pole, but they did like Columbus, and went the wrong way. The reason why they wanted to go to the North Pole, was because they wanted to be closer to Santa Claus.

The truth is, blondes can not help being dumb. The reason they are so dumb is because when god made them, he installed a special chip. This chip “controls” what they say. Here is how it works: A blonde is asked, “How many sides are on an octagon?”. Before she can say the right answer, 8, the chip redirects her. This is what she is now thinking: Well, an octopus lives in the ocean. The ocean is blue. There are 4 letters in blue. So her answer would be 4. This is how the chip works.

A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river.
The brunette wants to get across.She yells across to the blonde, “Hey, how do I get to the other side?”

The blonde shakes her head and yells back -
“People like you really piss me off. You ARE on the other side!”

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Q: What do you call a skeleton in a closet?

A: The “Miss Blonde Hide-and-Seek Champion of 1985

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Q: Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: What is black and blue and brown lying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.
They each brought one item for survival.

The red-head brought water. The blonde asked, “Why?” The red-head
replied, “To prevent us from dying of thirst.”

The brunette brought food. The blonde asked, “Why?” The brunette
replied, “To prevent us from dying of hunger.”

The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked,
“Why?” The blonde replied, “To roll down the window if it gets hot.”

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Q: How do you recognize a blonde at the airport?

A: She’s the one throwing bread at the airplanes.

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