Grow your own dope! Plant a blonde!

Did you hear about the blonde who…

had more on her body than on her mind?

was called “Sanka” because she had no active ingredient in the bean?

took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?

was an M. D. – Mentally Deficient?

had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?

thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn’t have a crazy cat?

after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn’t get taller girls?

went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it’s back, and frustrated, shouts out,
- “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!!!”

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, “I don’t have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!”

To that the man asks, “Anything??”
And the blonde says, “Yes, anything!!”
With that, the man says, “Follow me.”

He walks into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door.”
She does.
He then says, “Get on your knees.”
She does.
He then says, “Take down my zipper.”
She does.
He then says, “Go ahead, take it out.”
With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, “Well, go ahead!”

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, “Hello…Mom?”

A brunette walks over to her Blonde friends home and finds her crying.
“What happened…why are you crying?”

The Blonde tells her that her mother has passed away.

The neighbor makes her some coffee, comforts her and then leaves.

The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again.

Once again, she asks her why she was crying?

This time the blonde replies hysterically…
“I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!