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Animals Jokes


Scientifically speaking, the term Animals includes everything from single-celled organisms all the way down to people. For legal reasons there are some specific exclusions, including Oprah, Hamsters and God.

According to ancient legend, all animals came from space and are Atheists (they believe he is non existent). Thereafter, people kept them in rounded metallic spheres and summoned them forth to use special powers in order to battle with each other. When they wanted the animals to come out of their spheres, they would say “[Aadvark, Llama, etc], I choose you!” and throw the sphere to the ground. Eventually, after fighting alot these animals would evolve, which became the basis for Darwin’s theory of evolution.

Province of Inhambane
Ministry of Fish and Wildlife
MOZAMBIQUE

WARNING

Due to the rising frequency of human-lion encounters, the Ministry of Fish and Wildlife, Inhambane Branch, Mozambique is advising hikers, hunters, fisherman and any motor-cyclists that use the out-of-doors in a recreational or work-related function to take extra precautions while in the bush.

We advise outdoorsmen to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advanced warning to any lions that might be close by so you don’t take them by surprise.

We also advise anyone using the out-of-doors to carry “Pepper Spray” with him or her in case of an encounter with a lion.

Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh lion activity, and be able to tell the difference between lion cub shit and big lion shit. Lion cub shit is smaller and contains lots of berries and dassie fur. Big lion shit has bells in it, and smells like pepper.

Enjoy your stay in
MOZAMBIQUE

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Alligator mating season (via havingagas.com)

hag0133.jpg

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Prison Break Mickey MousePrison Break Goldfish

Prison Break Tweety

 
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