A sex therapist was doing research at the local college when one of the male volunteers told him, “When I get it in part way, my vision blurs. And when I get it all the way in, I can’t see a thing.”

“Hmmm…that’s an interesting optical reaction to sex,” said the researcher. “Would you mind if I had a look at it?”

So the volunteer stuck out his tongue!

You know you’re a redneck when you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

A woman walks into her sex therapist’s office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it. The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give her husband one pill that night and come back in the morning and tell her what happened.

The next day, the woman comes in ecstatic telling the therapist that the pill worked and she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills and the therapist says shedoesn’t know, but to go ahead and try it.

The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist that the sex was even better than the night before and what would happen if she gave him five pills. The therapist says she doesn’t know, but to go ahead and try it.

The next day, the woman comes in limp but happy, and tells the therapist thatthe sex just keeps getting better and what would happen if she gave her husband the rest of the bottle. The therapist says she doesn’t know; it’s an experimental drug and she doesn’t know what a full bottle could do to a person.

Anyway, the woman leaves the therapist’s office and put the rest of the bottle of pills in the husband’s morning coffee.

A week later, a boy walks into the therapist’s office and says: “Are you the dumb fuck who gave my mother a bottle of experimental pills?”

“Why, yes, young man, I did. Why?”

“Well, mom’s dead, my sister’s pregnant, my ass hurts, and dad’s sittin’ in the corner going ‘Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…’”

You know you’re a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, “Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be a hell of a party.”

The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, “This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it.”

The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, “What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?”

The guy replies, “Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a pain muscle reliever).

The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, “Are you crazy, you can’t put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive.”

The guy says, “It’s not for my penis, it’s for my arm.” Pharmacist says, “What?? What happened?” Guy replies, “Well…I drank the whole bottle of your potion.” Pharmacist says, “And…” Guy replies, “The girls never showed up!”