There was a guy who was very keen at telling jokes. One day at a meeting he told one and everybody laughed except a man.

He told another and everybody laughed again except the man. And that continued until the 9th joke.

He noticed the man, and told one nonsense joke. At that time, everybody stayed quiet except the man who laughed energetically.

He asked the man then, “You`re very strange man. I`ve told nine funny jokes and you`ve not had any reaction, and when I told one nonsense one, you found it funny”.

The man replied : “I`ve just understood the first one”

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn’t want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I’ve recently been with some of these people….

A friend of mine fixed me up with this guy to double date with her and her boyfriend. When we were ordering dinner, the waitress asked him what he wanted to drink. The guy said “Coke”. The waitress replied that they
only had “Pepsi”. He agreed and as the waitress walked away the guy said, “I don’t know what the big deal is, why they only carry Coke or Pepsi. They’re all owned by the same company. You know, Coca-COLA.
Pepsi-COLA.”

The sad part about it was he was totally serious. Needless to say, this man won’t be fathering my children.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.”

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.”

The clerk said, “All right. How long do you need them?” The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”

After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”