Whats the most embrassing thing for a cheerleader?

When she does the splits and 8 class rings fall out!

Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger. The nude stranger was sprawled over the bed asleep.

“You rotten bastard!” yelled the husband…”I’m going to kill you!”

“Wait!, said Mrs. Jones”.
You know that fur coat I got last winter?
Well, he gave it to me.

And that diamond ring we sold for $1000′s?
Well, he gave it to me.

And remember when we couldn’t aford a new car and I came home one day with a brand new chevy? Well, he gave it to me.

After hearing all this, Mr. Jones exclaims…

“For heaven sake woman, it’s drafty in here.”
“Cover him so he doesn’t catch cold!”

Boss: Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal. Johnson: Montreal! “Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!”
Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!
Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, “No kidding! What position does she play?”

The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mohter’s milk.

Little Johnny pipes up and says, “I know teacher!”

Number One: It’s fresh.
Number Two: It’s nutritious.
Number Three: I’t served at just the right temperature.
And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!

Dave was a bit of a nut who enjoyed making obscene phone calls.

His biggest pleasure is making such calls to kindergarten teachers.

He’ll find a lonely telephone booth, dial the number of a teacher, and exclaim -

“Is this Mrs. Jones, the kindergarten teacher at P.S. 41?”
When the teacher answers yes, Dave goes into his act…
“Wee-ee, poo-poo ca-ca!”