A professor of a Freshman Psychology course had a class of 400 students. His final exam was scheduled very early 8am-10am.

The professor told his students that his final was not a cumulative final and just covered the information since the last midterm, so in essence, the final was just like a midterm and would only require 1 hour of the 2 hour alloted time. The professor told the students to bring a large Blue Book (fyi: a Blue Book is a standard testing tool used throughout many universities. It’s basically a thin 10 blank pages of college ruled notebook paper with a blue cover. They are purchased at the student book store.) The professor was adament that the students were only going to have 1 hour and not one minute more to complete the essay style exam.

The students requested the exam to begin at 9am instead of 8am since they only had an hour. The professor denied the request because the professor prefered to use the second hour to begin grading the exams. The students moaned at the idea of waking up early.

On the morning of the exam, the test began at 8:10. At 8:35, a student walked in and picked up the test questions from the professor. The professor told the student he wouldn’t have enough time to complete the test. The student replied “Yes I will.”

At 9:10, the professor stopped the test and all the students turned in their blue books as they exited the room. The late student continued to write. The professor began grading some the exams.

At 9:35, the student walked up to the desk to hand in his exam, and the professor told him it was unacceptable. The student in a surprised manner asked the professor, “Do you know who I am?” The professor replied, “No, and I don’t care.”

The student said, “Good,” and he stuffed his exam in the middle of the stack of 300 blue books. “Have a nice Summer” said the student as he left the room.

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could
outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of
one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had
enough.

“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said.
“I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over
to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”

“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you got.”

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said…
“All right. Get in.”!

One day a guy went to a grocery store and the bagger boy asked him “Paper
or Plastic” and the man said, “Uh…paper I guess.”

Then the bagger boy said your total is $56.35.

The man took out his wallet and said “Real or Counterfeit”.

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told
by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.

His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support.
At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.

Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.

At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. “I’ve got a difficult decision” the VP says, “I either have to Lay You or Jack off.”

“Oh? jack-off,” Mary says, “I’ve got a headache.”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a
young engineer fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you looking
for?”

The engineer replied, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending
on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks
vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching
retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years
– say, a red Corvette?”

The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”

The interviewer replied, “Well Yeah, but you started it.”