Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more.

One day Fred went into the mens room and a very short man dressed in green was standing there peeing. Well, Fred couldn’t help but notice what an enourmous penis the man had and he said as much. “How did it get so big?” he asked incredulously.

“With magic,” the man replied, “I am a leprechaun.”
Fred was amazed. “Can you make mine that big?”

The leprechaun could and said he would if Fred would only do him a small favor…to bend over and let him have his way with Fred. Fred agreed and did so. When they were finished he pulled his pants back up and stood.

“How old are you boy?” the man in green asked as he stood at the door.
“Thirty. Why?”

“You’re thirty years old and you still believe in leprechauns?”

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Don’t try to understand the theory of relativity.

Relativity is like an erection – the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

Q: How can you tell the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

A: SNOWBALLS!!!

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army.
His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis…He agrees, and does so.

When his penis isn’t erect you can see the letters W and Y.
The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man’s penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica.

One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him… The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, “Wow, that’s really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?”

And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says…
“Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!”