What’s the dumbest part of a man’s body?

His penis. It has a head without a brain, it swings with two nuts, and it lives right around the corner from an asshole.

What’s the best thing to come out of a penis?

The wrinkles!

Two men are in a bar are boasting about their prowess and one of them says, “My cock is longer than that cat’s tail.”

A bet is made, the bartender supplies a ruler, and the cat is roused and measured.

But when the bartender begins the second measurement, the stud says, “Just a moment! Where did you measure that cat’s tail from?”

“From the asshole.” says the bartender.

“Well, kindly do me the same favor.”

Guy-Knock, Knock

Girl-Who’s there?

Guy-Emersom

Girl-Emersom who?

Guy-Emersom nice boobs ya got there!

For years ‘n years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests.”

So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, An always wore a bra.

After thirty years of careful care, The doctor found a lump, He ordered up a Mammogram To look inside that clump.

“Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my tit in line, “And tell me when it hurts,” she said, “Ah, yes! There! That’s just fine.”

She stepped upon a pedal. . . I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate was pressing down. My boob was in a vise!!!

My skin was stretched ‘n stretched From way up by my chin, And my poor tit was being squeezed To Swedish pancake thin!!!

Excruciating pain I felt, Within its vise-like grip, A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit!!

“Take a deep breath” she said to me Who does she think she’s kidding? My chest is smashed in her machine, I can’t breathe and woozy I am getting.

“There, that was good,” I heard her say As the room was slowly swaying. “Now let’s get the other one.” “Lord, have mercy,” I was praying.

It squeezed me from the up and down, It squeezed me from both sides, I’ll bet she’s never had this done To her tender little hide!

If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. . . If there had been a cyst in there, It would have popped, Ker-pow!!

This machine was made by a man, Of this I have no doubt. I’d like to get his balls in there, For months, he’d go “without”!!