Take the test…NO CHEATING!
What does: A woman do sitting down? A man do standing up? A dog do on three legs? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Got your guess ready yet? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? They shake hands!
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The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemlpoyed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 2004 your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10″- 12″ Luxury Tax……….$30.00
8″- 10″ Pole Tax………….$25.00
5″- 8″ Privilege Tax………$15.00
4″- 5″ Nuisance Tax……….$ 3.00
Males exceeding 12″ must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4″ is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!
Sincerely, Pecker Checker IRS
*****NOTE***** We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
- Are there penalties for early withdrawals? – What if one’s penis is self employed? – Do multiple partners count as a corporation? – Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes? – Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
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Q. Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony? A. The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and nine doughnuts at the same time.
Q. Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony? A. The one who can eat the last doughnut.
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What has 3 balls and comes from outer space?
ET – The extra testicle!
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This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it’s a gay bar, but decides, “What the heck, I really want a drink.”
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, “What’s the name of your penis?”
Guy: Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
Waiter:I’m sorry, but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called ‘Nike” for the slogan ‘Just Do It’ That guy down at the end of the bar calls his ‘Snickers’ because ‘It Really Satisfies’.
The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he’ll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, “Hey, bud, what’s the name of your penis?”
Other customer: Timex!
First guy: Why Timex?
Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin!
A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right.
First guy:What’s the name of your penis?
Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately?
Even more shaken, he thinks a little more and finally thinks of a name for his penis.
Guy: Bartender! The name of my penis is “Secret’!
Waiter: (pouring beer) Why ‘Secret’?
Guy:(proudly) Because it’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
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