One day some guys were doing a survey between “boxers” or “briefs”.

They went to a 25 year old man and said “boxers” or “briefs”? He
said briefs.

They went to a 40 year old man and said “boxers” or “briefs”? He
said boxers.

Then they went up to a 80 year old man and said “boxers” or
“briefs”? And the old man replied – “depends?”

An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he replies. “I’ve got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?”

The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.

“So he’s in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest.”

“That’s impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear,” the man said.

“Exactly,” replies the Doc.

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health one asked how the other’s husband was doing.

“Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!”

“Oh dear! I’m very sorry.” replied her friend “What did you do?”

“Opened a can of peas instead!”

A Little Boy Comes Running Into The Room and Says, “Grandpa! Grandpa! Can You Make A Sound Like A Frog?”

The Grandpa says, “I Don’t Know, Why?”

The Little Boy Says, “Because Grandma Says As Soon As You Croak, We Can Go To Disneyland!”

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one responded,” Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem, knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them…

“That must be the door, I’ll get it!”