Once a gentleman arrived at the town, dressed well, he settled in the unique hotel that was, and put a warning in the unique page of the local newspaper, was arranged to buy each monkey that brings to him by $10. Farmers, that knew that the forest was full of monkeys, left running to hunt monkeys.

The man bought, like had promised in the warning, the hundreds of monkeys that brought to him to $10 each without chistar. But, as already they were very few monkeys in the forest, and it was difficult to hunt them, the farmers lost interest, then the man offered $20 by each monkey, and the farmers ran again to the forest.

Again, they were decreasing the monkeys, and the man lifted the supply to $25, and the farmers returned to the forest, hunting the few monkeys that were, until it was already almost impossible to find one. Arrived at this point, the man offered $50 by each monkey, but, like tapeworm businesses that to take care of in the city, the business of the purchase of monkeys would leave in charge of its assistant.

Once the man to the city traveled, his assistant went to the farmers saying to them: – They pay attention to this full cage of thousands of monkeys that my head bought for his collection, nor remembers it has that them. I offer to them to sell to you the monkeys to them by $35 and when my head returns of the city, are sold it by $50 each. The farmers joined all savings and bought the thousands of monkeys that were in the great cage, and waited for the return of ‘ jefe’ … From that day, they returned to see neither the assistant nor the head. The unique thing that saw was the full cage of monkeys that they bought with his savings of all the life.

Now you have clear a good notion of how she works the Stock market, stock-market and Wall s$street

1. The most popular game for Icelandic families in 2009?
Go Fish!
2. What’s the capital of Iceland?
About $20
Iceland was a currency posing as a bank.
3. I went to an ATM today, and it asked to borrow a twenty till next week.
4. Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my money and I still have a wife.”
5. In Soviet America, banks rob people because that is where the money is!

This information came over the internet some years ago. It purports to be the answers given by students in science exams around the world. It came with the comment that “it is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressure of time and grades?.” I was unable to trace the author, but as the work deserves wider dissemination, I present here the answers of most interest to a medical audience.

General:

“The body consists of three parts – the brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax, the heart and lungs; and the abominable cavity, the bowls, of which there are five – a, e, i, o, and u.”

Respiration:

“When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire”
“Respiration consists of two acts: first inspiration, then expectoration.”

Cardiovascular:
“The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, veins, and caterpillars.”

Gastrointestinal:
“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Alabama.”

Dentistry:
“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”

Orthopaedics:
“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat on.”

Reproductive medicine:
“Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.”
“To prevent contraception, wear a condominium.”
“Many women believe that an alcoholic binge will have no effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.”

Haematology:
“Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”

Eyes and nose:
“To remove dust from the eye: pull the eye down over the nose.”
“For nosebleeds, put the nose lower than the body until the heart stops.”
“For a cold: use an agoniser to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.”

First aid:
“For fainting: rub the person’s chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the head instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest doctor.”
“For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.”
“For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.”
“For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”

POSITIVE: Item shipped quickly, have been having erotic dreams about seller. Thanks!

POSITIVE: Thanks for great Rainbow Brite lunchbox. Should shrunken head be inside?

NEUTRAL: Excellent communication, but should’ve poked holes in box before shipping the kitten. Refunded.

NEGATIVE: Despite indication in listing, I could not fit item into any of my body cavities. Read More…

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”