Before – You take my breath away.

After – I feel like I’m suffocating.

Before – Twice a night.

After – Twice a month.

Before – She loves the way I take control of a Situation.

After – She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

Before – Ricky & Lucy.

After – Fred & Ethel.

Before – Saturday Night Live.

After – Monday Night Football.

Before – He makes me feel like a million dollars.

After – If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

Before – Don’t Stop.

After – Don’t Start.

Before – The Sound of Music.

After – The Sound of Silence.

Before – Is that all you are eating?

After – Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before – Wheel of Fortune.

After – Jeopardy.

Before – It’s like living a dream.

After – It’s a nightmare.

Before – $60/dozen.

After – $1.50/stem.

Before – Turbocharged.

After – Needs a jump-start

Before – We agree on everything!

After – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

Before – Victoria’s Secret.

After – Fruit of the Loom.

Before – Feathers & handcuffs.

After – Ball and chain.

Before – Idol.

After – Idle.

Before – He’s lost without me.

After – Why can’t he ask for directions?

Before – When together, time stands still.

After – This relationship is going nowhere.

Before – Croissant and cappuccino.

After – Bagels and instant coffee.

Before – Oysters.

After – Fishsticks.

Before – I can hardly believe we found each other.

After – How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

Before – Romeo and Juliet.

After – Bill and Hillary..