1. Blow out a huge depressed fart and blame it on the person next to you out loud.

2. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

3. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

4. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Show other passengers a rash on your genitals and ask if it looks infected.

7. Leave a box between the doors.

8. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

9. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask ‘is that your beeper?’

10. Say ‘I wonder what all these do’ and push the red buttons.