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Reindeer Jokes




And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ….
These jokes will sleigh you!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was “elf”-taught!

‘Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can’t tell me why he does that!’
‘Oh, yes I can.’ the elf said.
‘Because tow ‘Eds are better than one, of course!’

How can Santa’s sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don’t feed it !

How do you get into Donner’s house?
You ring the “deer”-bell!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-”deer”!

How long should a reindeer’s legs be ?
Just long enough to reach the ground !

How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back!

And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first

I’m so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?

Keep that reindeer out of the house! It’s full of fleas!
You’d better stay out of the house, Rudolph – it’s full of fleas.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer’s gone missing again, put a ‘Missing’ advert in the local paper!
Don’t be daft. Reindeer can’t read!

What do reindeer have that no other animals have ?
Baby reindeer !

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
“Horn”-aments!

What do you call the reindeer with cotton wool in his ears?
Call him anything you like – he won’t hear you!

What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah!

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
“Elk”-a-seltzer!

What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes?
No-eyed-deer!

What does Father Christmas call that three-legged reindeer?
Eileen.

What does Father Christmas the reindeer with only one eye that’s got no legs?
Still no-eye-deer.

What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A pony sleigh station!

What game do reindeer play in their stalls?
Stable-tennis!

What has antlers and loves cheese?
Mickey Moose!

What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas’ sleigh and is made of cement?
I don’t know.
A reindeer!

Where do you find reindeer ?
It depends on where you leave them !

Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
“Rude”-olph!

Which reindeer have the shortest legs ?
The smallest ones !

Why are Father Christmas’ reindeer like a cricket match?
Because they’re both stopped by the rein.

Why did the reindeer wear black boots ?
Because his brown ones were all muddy !

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ?
Because he didn’t want to be recognised !

Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs !

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits!

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
They all can! Houses can’t jump!

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She’d go to a “re-tail” shop for a new one!

What’s red and green and guides Santa’s sleigh?
Rudolph the red-nosed pickle!

What’s the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They’re both brown, except the snowball.

What’s the name of the reindeer with three humps on its back?
Humphrey

And that black and blue reindeer?
Bruce.

Where do the reindeer like to stop for lunch?
“Deery” Queen!

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