Q.What are three, two letter words that describe small?

A. Is it in?

A white guy and a black guy died and were on their way up to Heaven and they had to stop at the Pearly Gates before they could enter. So the Angel Gabriel was there waiting for them, and he told them that they had to do something before they could go anywhere.

He told the white guy to pull down his pants, so he did and Gabriel grabbed his dick and squeezed. It instantly melted. The white screamed in pain, and was sent downstairs.

Gabriel told the black guy to do the same, and he grabbed his dick and squeezed but nothing happened.

When Gabriel asked him why it didn’t affect him, he said, “This is the type of chocolate that melts in your mouth and not in your hands”.

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?

A DICTATOR!!

Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldn`t bring himself to tell his fiancee` about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, “Darling, I`ve got a big surprise for you,” at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.

The wedding night came and went, and the young couple were at last alone in their hotel room. “Now don`t forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise,” said the bride.

Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife`s hand on the stump.

“Hmmmmm,” she said softly, “that IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I`ll see what I can do!”

Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored.

“What happened to you feet?” his wife asked.
“I had a childhood disease called tolio.”

“Don’t you mean polio?”
“No, tolio, it only affects the toes.”

He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees.

“What happened to your knees?” she asked.
“Well, I also had kneesles.”

“Don’t you mean measles?”
“No, kneesles, it only affects the knees.”

When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said…
“Don’t tell me, you also had smallcox!”