Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming : “My penis just died, my penis just died!”

The nurses calm him down,and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: “I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?”

Grandpa replies: “Yes, it did… but today is the viewing!”

One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on!

So he goes up to his grandpa and says “Grandpa, do you realize that you’re not wearing any pants?” His grandpa replies “Yes Jimmy, I do.”

Jimmy then says “Well, why are you outside without any pants on Grandpa?”

His grandpa looks at Jimmy and responds “Well Jimmy, yesterday I sat outside without a shirt to long, and I got a stiff neck. This was your grandma’s idea.”

Two old guys, like 80 yrs. old, went to a whore house and told the woman at the door that they wanted the two most beautiful whores.

The woman was like, they’re old, what are they gonna know. So she sticks them in the two darkest rooms with blow-up dolls.

After they were done, they were walking out of the whore house and old guy #1 says to old guy #2, “How was your whore?”
#2 said “She was horrible. She just laid there like she was dead. Well, how was your whore?”

#1 goes “She was a witch.” #2 responds “What do you mean a witch?”
#1 says “I bit her tit and she flew out the window!”

Q: Why do they give Viagra to elderly men in old people’s homes?

A: To stop them from rolling out of bed.

A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, “Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?”

He said, “I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight.” She smiled at him and said, “So what are you thinking now?”

He said, “I think I did a pretty good job!”