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The 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time –




11 Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. Its in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. “Are you gonna play golf?” he asks “Or are you just gonna fuck around?”

12 A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, “Heres a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks.” The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator’s mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.” After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It’s a woman. “I’ll give it a try,” she says, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

13 A guy meets a girl in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. Ive got a special game for you. Ill do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”

14 At a White House party, a woman approached Calvin Coolidge, famed for his silence, and said “Mr. President, I made a bet I can get more than two words out of you.” He replied: “You lose.”

15 L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there’s a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson — and when he shows up, they tell him there’ll be a ten-minute wait. (Bill Maher)

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21 Responses to “The 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time –”

  1. September 14th, 2008 at 3:53 am #1n0nly-albanian

    a man gets on a plane,sitting next to him was a parrot.
    when the plane took of an was in the air.the parrot wanted to drink something, so he calls the stewards that help on the plane,and he said”i want a fucking drink”, so the lady gets him a drink.next the man ask for a drink n he was all nice and polite he asks the lady for the a drink tooo.the lady said ok,it will only b a minute.afterwards the parrot wantedsomething to it,he was like”i want fucking this and fucking that”,the lady got him what he wanted,the man ask her wots it takin so long for his drink, the lady said to be paishent,the man waited but the drink neva came.so he started swearing to the lady.the lady said”thats it i had enough of both of you”,so the lady throwed both of them of da plane,the parrot said to the man”can u fly?”,the man was like”no”. the parrot replied”so why u chattin shit?”

  2. December 30th, 2008 at 6:28 pm #sexy bum

    they s*ck

  3. April 21st, 2009 at 5:32 pm #Jackie

    Those were quite amusing, I’ve heard better. I’m surprised the two people who commented before me understood even one of the jokes. Good for you!

  4. June 17th, 2009 at 3:44 am #gayy

    what a gayy c*nt jokes

  5. July 8th, 2009 at 7:54 pm #Michael

    There were a few there I hadn’t heard. It’s worth the time..;)

  6. August 16th, 2009 at 12:09 am #Missy

    LOL! I needed that : P Anyone would liked these jokes should read the one Watson and Holmes joke… LOVE it haha! Anyway. Thanks for these ;)

  7. September 17th, 2009 at 1:21 pm #JAMES

    dis sh*t was lame i can tell a whole bunch of white folks wrote dis sh*t.

    latin love

  8. October 2nd, 2009 at 8:29 am #Antionette

    dat was sick

  9. October 26th, 2009 at 11:29 pm #not real name

    what.. the.. fu ck. dude, DUDE, get a LIFFFEEEEEEEEEE.

  10. December 4th, 2009 at 3:09 pm #Jim

    People that use the words DIS and DAT, need to go back to Africa…or where ever you found your “Latin Love” Stupid ebonic douchebags. Learn to speak PROPER ENGLISH. You un-ed-jew-kated pieces of sh*t

  11. December 7th, 2009 at 2:21 am #rob

    fuck you jim, you worthless piece of scumbag spineless shit 4 brains

  12. February 6th, 2010 at 7:09 pm #harveywallbanger

    Shut the fuck up all of you. Just shut the fuck up.

    Some classic jokes here.

    If your to fucking dumb or impoverished to comprehend them then check the fuck out of balloon puppetry U and get a fucking education.

  13. March 13th, 2010 at 6:54 am #mick

    If we’re talking about education, ‘to fucking dumb’ is wrong you self-imposing knobjockey. Should be ‘too’.

  14. March 18th, 2010 at 6:28 pm #Peter Mokhothu

    If there are jokes in this world that are worse than this, I’d like 2 see them. I’m a person who admires miracles.

  15. March 24th, 2010 at 9:56 pm #Meteorological Equipment

    I’ve enjoyed reading this page, its wasn’t exactly what I started out to find, as I have been looking for reference material regarding pilot balloons when I saw your weblog site via Bing and google and this excellent blog snared my curiosity.

  16. April 25th, 2010 at 3:56 pm #Does anybody remember laughter? - Relationships -Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 14 - City-Data Forum

    [...] Join Date: Aug 2009 5,692 posts, read 1,311,738 times Reputation: 5778 This thread is great!!! Hilarious stuff everyone. TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. ~Jerry Seinfeld[COLOR=blue ! important][COLOR=blue ! important][COLOR=blue ! important][/color][/color][/color] [...]

  17. June 12th, 2010 at 2:20 pm #mousam

    the name should be 100 CHUTIYA jokes of all tim

  18. June 13th, 2010 at 7:28 pm #strykass911

    I think the replies are as funny as the jokes. Thought I was still reading the jokes for a minute. Wow, reality IS the best comedy

  19. July 1st, 2010 at 1:11 am #happy man:) (not gay:P)

    I liked most of these jokes. I just wish people would do the following: 1. quit complaining about stuff you don’t like. If you don’t like it someone does, that’s kind of why it’s here. lol. and 2. that people who speak english, learn it properly. I admire that you’re at least attempting to speak it though. It’s a very hard language to learn, but I bet with a little practice you can master it. :D

  20. July 1st, 2010 at 6:47 pm #asuul714

    These are the best jokes I’ve seen on this site. I fail to see any reason to make racist, sexual, or insulting comments about how bad these jokes may seem; and sentences with four or five swear words in them are not going to make your arguments any more convincing. Also, stop correcting other people’s grammatical errors when you don’t know any grammar yourselves.

  21. July 14th, 2010 at 1:44 am #Rob Elsewhere

    Hey Moderator – delete the ignorant ramblings of the uneducated.

    Hey “Morons wid ‘tude”, If you don’t like the jokes, move on. Why waste your time writing comments that nobody is going to find:

    a. interesting
    b. amusing
    c. worth taking time to read

    Oh, and guys….

    … learn English.

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